Extinction, a word that is causing my stomach to hurt. My mind wants to delete the word as if that might change this course of events. But what I saw in a meditation is that most humans have been trained to control everything in our lives. That means that “wild” is bad, might hurt us, must be controlled.

I think that means it’s time to learn how to be “wild”. What does it mean to be “wild”? I remember as a child every time I got too dirty or did something my parents didn’t approve of, I was wild.

As a female teenager, wild was dangerous. If guys thought you were wild, that meant you were free with your sexuality. Dress codes controlled most wildness. Girls and women have been more controlled than boys and men,they got, “oh boys will be boys.” A woman exposing her breast to feed her imfant in public is still considered too wild,for most women in 2019!
Way too many of us have bought into wild is dangerous or bad. Now we have social media to control our actions and regular media to make sure whatever is done has a file and can be found, just in case we need to be controlled. Of course wildness is allowed in the entertainment world but only as a product, not as something allowed off stage.
What if we as humans have reached a time in which we must each own our wild self, which means letting go of those tight reins controlling our Self or extinction will include humans as well?
What if each day we need to ask, what can I do today to express my wild self? What action will I allow others to see?

My stomach reacts,a feeling arises of my inner little girl whispering, “how wild will you let me be?”

http://www.isischarest.com/shifting to wild

Several years ago I wrote a poem called Then. It is here in my writings under Invisible realms. My experience at the time showed me how I had “bloomed”many times in this life time but the blooms fade away and it is me (like a plant) that continues on. It was in writing this poem that I experienced the power of Darkness and how it embraced me. As I reread the poem I realized I had seen this more as a vision, an aspect of inner seeing.

In the last few weeks I have been dealing with not Belonging. I didn’t feel like I fit in any where, not in my family, not in groups. I felt sad and rejected for a few days.

I wrote down what I was ready to let go of symbolically, on a leaf and dropped it into a stream as a commitment to let go of my fear of not Belonging.

Then I asked Gaia, “What action or response would best serve Wholeness?

The answer I received was; “Generosity of Spirit. Spirit meaning That which Embraces and leads the way.”
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In the next moment I felt my whole body being Embraced, touched in a way not possible with another human. Every part of my skin felt touched.

This I was told is true Belonging. It is a Belonging to Darkness and Light, a Belonging to Gaia, A Belonging to my Life. It is a new definition that allows me to Be.

The experience this time was not visual or from inner seeing. It was felt, physically, emotionally,in a profound new way. I was told to ask any questions after the Embrace and I would hear and feel the answer from that larger consciousness.

I can truthfully say I want a lot more of this feeling!

In the process of writing #AwakeningEarthChronicles I became aware, in a very deep way, that Earth is a living Presence and all LIFE is part of this Presence. I’m over 70 and yet in all my years I had not heard it spoken this way. about this huge feeling of ONENESS.

I don’t know why we’ve been trained or brainwashed into believing “it’s” a place we live but it has nothing to do with the superiority of humans. Sadly this belief has given permission to violate Earth Presence. Humans are the only Life Form that creatively destroys Earth Essence
“It” can be drilled, mined, fracked, and filled with our garbage. Other species (Life Forms) are fine as long as they don’t intrude on any humans territory. They can be killed, poisoned, caged, starved to get the “almighty dollar.

Trees clean our air we breathe and also redistribute moisture. But this
Life Essence doesn’t contribute to the ‘almighty dollar for anyone, so forests are cut down to create “a crop for profit”

Mining, drilling and fracking interfere with the Living Presence of Earth. When that Living Presence is violated it affects ALL LIFE ESSENCE. Money can not replace Life. Mining violste Soil. There is violation of Soil and Water with fracking. This violation of Earth Essence comes back to US as many kinds of sickness and what we call disasters. What is done to the Air WE breathe affects EARTH PRESENCE which is ALL LIFE.
What we do unto Earth We do unto ALL LIFE. The indigenous cultures know this. I wonder when the wake-up call will come for everyone else?

Our world is changing. We can no .longer trust those we have given our authority to, or better said, projected our own power of authority onto. We could say this is wrong and bad or we can look at the door that is opening. The door that says:  learn to ask, trust and act from the voice that speaks from (y)our heart.

Every time we ask of this consciousness there is an answer. It isn’t always what I/we want to hear or are ready to physically act upon but the answer is there to serve my/our needs.

I will say that my own challenge with asking,  listening and acting is dealing with my own shame when I don’t act upon this wisdim and physically carry through. And yet this voice never judges me.  (But the part that is afraid to act does) It is always available for my questions. The most difficult task (for me) is figuring out how to ask the question that I want an answer to. But it is truly a worthwhile pursuit.

My big question I’m afraid to ask today is: why, with all the lies heard from our own president is Congress unwilling to stand for the Constitution of this country?

The answer I hear is: their answers do not come from their inner voice but from the voice of the moneys which holds them hostage.

Next question: Are we all hostages to money?

Answer: Most are. Freedom is delivered when one asks, listens And acts. Without this action one remains a hostage, waiting for an outer savior.

http://www.isischarest.com

My quiet inner voice told me today to write about my experiences of silence. I wondered if others had already done so and went to Google. Of course there were many sharings but in reading them they did not speak of what I wanted to share. After speaking to a friend about it today, she expressed what she “sees” about silence. This sharing is what I have “felt”.

1. The first silence that comes to mind is the silence of no response. I can feel the mind of this person I await a response from …gone, running away from me. Perhaps I said some things that reminded them of their own journey.But this person in their silence, is no longer here with me.

2. And then there is the silence that feels like a huge container, that everything I say is lovingly allowed to flow in. I feel held in this silence even tho there is no physical touch. I feel peace,. A voice saying, “I want to hear everything you have to say”.I feel a deep connection between us and know my thoughts and feelings are meaningful to this person and I feel this permission to release something in me … the tracking of time.

3. And there is the silence of hostility where there is a wall instead of a container. What I say to this person flies back to me in an energetic flash. The wall allows no penetration. After a few times of trying to speak I feel beat up by my own words and unwanted energy. I thought my words were kind … but they were not wanted.

4. There was only silence between us for a moment but now words flow out very quickly forcing me into silence. I try to become a container, a good listener, of all that’s been stored up in this person. Perhaps no one has listened before.Their words are hurried, running together and there is no response to even a short question that I ask. I begin to feel unimportant. My silence is not appreciated. Instead I feel my mouth padlocked.I feel controlled, almost thinking of this feeling as another type of rape. Why can’t I speak?

5.I hunger for mutual silences, true listening, real connection with others where we take turns speaking and being a container, allowing energy to flow back and forth into our mutual deep containers, exchanging energy on a level that can only happen from genuine interest and caring.

I am curious as to how you experience different silences. Please share.

Check out my novels, AWAKENING EARTH CHRONICLES at
http://www.isischarest.com

Do “I” want to create or is something stirring and calling within me, hungering for the opportunity to become visible?

What is it that pulls and tugs and begs for attention? A connection I aspire to? A pearl of wisdom hidden deeply within that keeps repeating, “You have something special to share.”

Once acknowledged, the tug becomes stronger. It wakes me in the night, “Did you forget me? You promised “we” would spend time together. I’ve been waiting. We have something special to share.”

Sometimes I hear myself say, “But, I’m not ready, I don’t know how to write (or paint or) I’d make a mess of it. People would laugh at me. It’s not a good time, I should bla ..bla.. bla. . I’m really tired. I’ll do it tomorrow.”

And then that special voice, the one I have been avoiding that I know is hungering for creation and connection says, “I love you, we can do this together. You do not have to do it alone. You are never alone when you listen.”
http://www.isischarest.com

The information that’s been coming in today, as I send energy out,  is about sharing verses owning energy. Nature freely disperses energy, constantly sharing, but as humans we play differently and want to own energy. I hadn’t seen it this way before today.  We are taught that to be winners we should own our home,  own a great view, our car, our children, our clothes, our experiences, our judgments our bank account, our phone. However, what we call ours, or what we own is boxed in, (banked), energetically held in our body and what I call the aura around us. What we are capable of holding onto constitutes a level of greed I had not recognized before. A greed for energy.

To continuously share energy is to allow energy to move thru us verses wanting it all for self because I deserve it all.  These people feel big energetically as well as wealthy financially. Our culture sees this accumulation of energy as the most desired.

One can also take in large amounts  of energy and hold it tightly for analysis, or because its bad or because it’s a secret, or because it’s mine alone. I realize on writing this that indigenous people tend to live without owning everything around them. We consider them poor.

As women we tend to own and hold onto emotions. It is our wealth. But I spent years thinking I was  letting go of emotions I’d stored up in my life,while I re-experienced them over and over. I made my living helping others do the same.  I had not until today seen this accumulation of emotions as  a type of ownweship/greed. (Or wealth)  I know women who feel they must own every emotion, thought and belief that surfaces in their relationships, especially the ones judged bad. Weeks can go by as these emotions are analyzed, sometimes even years! Is this  another way of counting our “money”, just not the current wealth indicator? Most of us doing this emotional work have seen it as saving our world. We believe we are emotionally cleaning up after those who don’t do it for themselves. But perhaps their wealth indicator comes from hoarding another kind of energy.

Our environment is a reflection of our stuff, stuff (energy) we don’t want, that gets dumped into huge gaping holes in our mother Earth.  Who is going to own the energy of this garbage? It could be a type of wealth to someone.

Our society is out of balance (my judgment). Some people are capable of pulling in and holding onto lots of energy and become extremly wealthy, owning numerous homes,businesses, cars, etc while many others are not only homeless, they may own very little. But greed/owership is acceptable in our culture. The monetarily wealthy now own most of what we call wealth in our country. And yet many homeless people are more likely to share what little they have.

What happens when the wealthy continue to suck in and hold more and more energy? What would happen if our view of wealth shifted? What if holding onto energy became too difficult and  we began to give more energy rather than hold onto it?

I don’t have an answer, maybe you do and can help me understand.

Today I am Ocean. Very large, my energy is all within, nuturing many, many different life forms. I can feel large beings moving  inside me and hear their calls to each other, letting me know they are okay.

My movement is not initiated by me, rather I am pulled by the moon and just as I begin to relax I am pulled back to where I was, every day I am lulled by this rhythm. Sometimes wind calls to  me and we dance together gently, sometimes we play aggressively.

I am also aware of many, many rivers coming to visit and then they leave me as tiny drops in the air. I don’t always get to say goodbye and wish them well on their new journey. Sometimes they return to me as raindrops and we party and dance.

I also feel disturbing noises at my surface, large entities that feel like they care not for me at all. Sometimes they enter me and I feel raped by their aggression, their lack of empathy for me and their sounds that scatter my own life forms. They leave what my life forms can not consume.

I am water, I live in you. (To be continued)

We are water, our bodies, like that of our home, Earth is about 70% water. Water has many personalities, each serving a purpose, just as we do. It is intriguing to look at how alike we are.

I would say I’ve been a river most of my life. Always moving, doing, creating, but also serving others as a mother, wife, business owner, healer and teacher. Sometimes as River, I felt flooded and moved fast and furious, sometimes I became “droughted” and felt as if there wasn’t enough of me to go around, to do the nourishing I signed up for. I moved a lot as a child, maintained few friends, went to many different schools, had little connection to relatives except for siblings, and I am the eldest. As River, my course has always been toward Oneness, the Ocean.

As I have been trying to understand myself as water I’ve looked at others and realize I sometimes drool at the idea of being a lake instead of a river. They are more stationary, more community-minded. Their movements more gentle. My daughters had/have a more stationary life. They lived in the same house in their growing up years, went to school with the same kids, played with the same neighborhood friends, lived safely by the same neighbors, all aging together in a small town. Everybody knows who you are. Lake energy nourishes, but differently than River. To be continued.

http://www.isischarest.com

We are at least 70 percent water. This is a fact. But until we experience self as water we have no real concept of what that means or how our experience of water affects us emotionally or our relationships with others.

Water can be a river, on a journey to the ocean, flowing night and day. A fast flowing river has little time to notice or nurture what comes to them and feels much different than a large slow moving river. When we are this fast moving river we are all about experience with no time to see or feel how our experience is affecting us. Very busy.

And then there are lakes. Our families, jobs, churches can be lakes or ponds. Lakes and ponds become connected to their surroundings, the terrain which holds the life within them, and all life that comes to them to be nurtured. There is little movement in a lake or pond. In small lake and pond energy everyone knows whats going on, the names of people, what they do, who they are related to, married to.  There is a larger sense of involvement.  Lakes and ponds are pulled or rocked by the moon. But they stay in one place.

However, a lake or ponds water can become stagnant, polluted or be totally used up by plant life. A person identifying as a small lake or pond can feel depressed, stuck. To step out of this feeling one must choose another course, of water. Become a river, a bigger lake,  a cloud, or as big as the ocean.

We can be huge, like the ocean, being pulled by the moon 2x a day for our movement. The hugeness does not foster a sense of personal connection, but does foster unity as we are pulled with the tide. Cities are like the ocean. Lots of people but not a lot of connection. But think of the amount of sloshing water in all those people as we are rocked by tides each day!

Change can occur in any water thru evaporation as water is lifted into the air for another kind of experience.We can become little clouds floating in the air, connecting with more moisture  and growing  into bigger clouds waiting for the opportunity to drop as rain and begin a new experience.

http://www.isischarest.com