Belonging

Several years ago I wrote a poem called Then. It is here in my writings under Invisible realms. My experience at the time showed me how I had “bloomed”many times in this life time but the blooms fade away and it is me (like a plant) that continues on. It was in writing this poem that I experienced the power of Darkness and how it embraced me. As I reread the poem I realized I had seen this more as a vision, an aspect of inner seeing.

In the last few weeks I have been dealing with not Belonging. I didn’t feel like I fit in any where, not in my family, not in groups. I felt sad and rejected for a few days.

I wrote down what I was ready to let go of symbolically, on a leaf and dropped it into a stream as a commitment to let go of my fear of not Belonging.

Then I asked Gaia, “What action or response would best serve Wholeness?

The answer I received was; “Generosity of Spirit. Spirit meaning That which Embraces and leads the way.”
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In the next moment I felt my whole body being Embraced, touched in a way not possible with another human. Every part of my skin felt touched.

This I was told is true Belonging. It is a Belonging to Darkness and Light, a Belonging to Gaia, A Belonging to my Life. It is a new definition that allows me to Be.

The experience this time was not visual or from inner seeing. It was felt, physically, emotionally,in a profound new way. I was told to ask any questions after the Embrace and I would hear and feel the answer from that larger consciousness.

I can truthfully say I want a lot more of this feeling!

EARTH ESSENCE

In the process of writing #AwakeningEarthChronicles I became aware, in a very deep way, that Earth is a living Presence and all LIFE is part of this Presence. I’m over 70 and yet in all my years I had not heard it spoken this way. about this huge feeling of ONENESS.

I don’t know why we’ve been trained or brainwashed into believing “it’s” a place we live but it has nothing to do with the superiority of humans. Sadly this belief has given permission to violate Earth Presence. Humans are the only Life Form that creatively destroys Earth Essence
“It” can be drilled, mined, fracked, and filled with our garbage. Other species (Life Forms) are fine as long as they don’t intrude on any humans territory. They can be killed, poisoned, caged, starved to get the “almighty dollar.

Trees clean our air we breathe and also redistribute moisture. But this
Life Essence doesn’t contribute to the ‘almighty dollar for anyone, so forests are cut down to create “a crop for profit”

Mining, drilling and fracking interfere with the Living Presence of Earth. When that Living Presence is violated it affects ALL LIFE ESSENCE. Money can not replace Life. Mining violste Soil. There is violation of Soil and Water with fracking. This violation of Earth Essence comes back to US as many kinds of sickness and what we call disasters. What is done to the Air WE breathe affects EARTH PRESENCE which is ALL LIFE.
What we do unto Earth We do unto ALL LIFE. The indigenous cultures know this. I wonder when the wake-up call will come for everyone else?

Awakening

There are so many frequencies to awakening and each frequency has so much to teach us, if we go there. There even appears to be a process for us, just as the butterfly and caterpillar have a process, and this process always includes letting go of what we presently feel accomplished at. This process doesn’t fit into our capitalist way of thinking which must keep us in the frequency that we feel most accomplished in rather than learning that we can shift frequencies and become adept in numerous frequencies.

The fear says that if we shift we won’t be able to get back to the frequency we are accomplished at, the one we feel most comfortable in and know we’re proficient at. That fear holds us hostage. It
causes anxiety and attention difficulties as one struggles with what could be normal for humans verses what we’ve been taught to believe.

The inner urge for shifting frequencies arises over and over and each time that inner desire for shifting is thwarted the shift becomes more difficult, seemingly overwhelming. Money most often is the opposing factor but approval or lack of,can also feel like glue. These 2 obstacles alone can make shifting feel like a giant adventure we should get an award for. But there are no outer rewards at this time because the inner journey of transformation, of awakening, of shifting frequencies does not feed capitalism. Not shifting does feed the pharmaceutical industry.
It is always a choice.

The inner journey creates more freedom and there is always a choice.What we learn on the inner is applied in our outer world, whereas quite often not shifting means a closing off of the connection to the inner transformational Self.

I think our world is waiting for more of us to enter this adventure of Awakening.
You might like reading my novels called AWAKENING EARTH CHRONICLES.

http://www.isischarest.com

The Out Come

I have been trying to understand the 4 basic elements of soil, water, fire and air for some time. I think I’ve finally got it and am now onto the mystery of the 5th element. Perhaps you already know all this but if not it helps me to understand myself to write about it.

Soil (those tiny granules) is what creates and gives form, forms of all kinds! But soil needs some water to fill up that form and make it 3 dimensional. The amount of water depends on the form. Butterflies need more air than water. Fire is the electric charge that allows movement. Air creates Life. A baby (of any species) can be born looking perfect but if it can not take a breath it will mot survive. The first in breath begins life and the last out breath is the end of physical life as we know it. This is the physical realm. There are other frequencies of these 4 elements that affect our health, our thoughts, our emotions and all our creations.
All species have different amounts of each element. An elephant has more soil, a bird has more air, a fish has more water, and some of the fastest creatures have more fire.

The 5th element; the level of perfection in all things we could call the outcome, depends on the balance of these four elements. Too much of any element changes the balance, but too little also changes the balance in a different way.

We can look to Nature at a blackberry bush. If its a dry spring the berries will be seedy, if there is just the right amount of moisture and sunshine the berry will grow lush and juicy. If there is too much rain the berry will be mushy. The plant can not control how its berries turn out just as it is difficult for us to understand how outer circumstances and the choices we make can change the elements in our very makeup and change the outcome of our physical health. The choices we make about our jobs, (or what I might write about), what we choose to eat or drink can affect how we feel, how much energy we have for our projects, the dreams we have at night.
Our current President has a lot of fire energy. He has learned how to create smoke as a distraction while he uses his blazing fire elsewhere. I am not interested in using my energy to confuse or control people but I had not realized how much I didn’t know about how these elements work, or don’t, for me.

My next set of lessons is to understand these elements in my inner and outer body and how they affect the choices I make.
What are you learning?
http://www.isischarest.com

Trust

Our world is changing. We can no .longer trust those we have given our authority to, or better said, projected our own power of authority onto. We could say this is wrong and bad or we can look at the door that is opening. The door that says:  learn to ask, trust and act from the voice that speaks from (y)our heart.

Every time we ask of this consciousness there is an answer. It isn’t always what I/we want to hear or are ready to physically act upon but the answer is there to serve my/our needs.

I will say that my own challenge with asking,  listening and acting is dealing with my own shame when I don’t act upon this wisdim and physically carry through. And yet this voice never judges me.  (But the part that is afraid to act does) It is always available for my questions. The most difficult task (for me) is figuring out how to ask the question that I want an answer to. But it is truly a worthwhile pursuit.

My big question I’m afraid to ask today is: why, with all the lies heard from our own president is Congress unwilling to stand for the Constitution of this country?

The answer I hear is: their answers do not come from their inner voice but from the voice of the moneys which holds them hostage.

Next question: Are we all hostages to money?

Answer: Most are. Freedom is delivered when one asks, listens And acts. Without this action one remains a hostage, waiting for an outer savior.

http://www.isischarest.com

Many Faces of Silence

My quiet inner voice told me today to write about my experiences of silence. I wondered if others had already done so and went to Google. Of course there were many sharings but in reading them they did not speak of what I wanted to share. After speaking to a friend about it today, she expressed what she “sees” about silence. This sharing is what I have “felt”.

1. The first silence that comes to mind is the silence of no response. I can feel the mind of this person I await a response from …gone, running away from me. Perhaps I said some things that reminded them of their own journey.But this person in their silence, is no longer here with me.

2. And then there is the silence that feels like a huge container, that everything I say is lovingly allowed to flow in. I feel held in this silence even tho there is no physical touch. I feel peace,. A voice saying, “I want to hear everything you have to say”.I feel a deep connection between us and know my thoughts and feelings are meaningful to this person and I feel this permission to release something in me … the tracking of time.

3. And there is the silence of hostility where there is a wall instead of a container. What I say to this person flies back to me in an energetic flash. The wall allows no penetration. After a few times of trying to speak I feel beat up by my own words and unwanted energy. I thought my words were kind … but they were not wanted.

4. There was only silence between us for a moment but now words flow out very quickly forcing me into silence. I try to become a container, a good listener, of all that’s been stored up in this person. Perhaps no one has listened before.Their words are hurried, running together and there is no response to even a short question that I ask. I begin to feel unimportant. My silence is not appreciated. Instead I feel my mouth padlocked.I feel controlled, almost thinking of this feeling as another type of rape. Why can’t I speak?

5.I hunger for mutual silences, true listening, real connection with others where we take turns speaking and being a container, allowing energy to flow back and forth into our mutual deep containers, exchanging energy on a level that can only happen from genuine interest and caring.

I am curious as to how you experience different silences. Please share.

Check out my novels, AWAKENING EARTH CHRONICLES at
http://www.isischarest.com

Attention

Do “I” want to create or is something stirring and calling within me, hungering for the opportunity to become visible?

What is it that pulls and tugs and begs for attention? A connection I aspire to? A pearl of wisdom hidden deeply within that keeps repeating, “You have something special to share.”

Once acknowledged, the tug becomes stronger. It wakes me in the night, “Did you forget me? You promised “we” would spend time together. I’ve been waiting. We have something special to share.”

Sometimes I hear myself say, “But, I’m not ready, I don’t know how to write (or paint or) I’d make a mess of it. People would laugh at me. It’s not a good time, I should bla ..bla.. bla. . I’m really tired. I’ll do it tomorrow.”

And then that special voice, the one I have been avoiding that I know is hungering for creation and connection says, “I love you, we can do this together. You do not have to do it alone. You are never alone when you listen.”
http://www.isischarest.com

Energy Ownership

The information that’s been coming in today, as I send energy out,  is about sharing verses owning energy. Nature freely disperses energy, constantly sharing, but as humans we play differently and want to own energy. I hadn’t seen it this way before today.  We are taught that to be winners we should own our home,  own a great view, our car, our children, our clothes, our experiences, our judgments our bank account, our phone. However, what we call ours, or what we own is boxed in, (banked), energetically held in our body and what I call the aura around us. What we are capable of holding onto constitutes a level of greed I had not recognized before. A greed for energy.

To continuously share energy is to allow energy to move thru us verses wanting it all for self because I deserve it all.  These people feel big energetically as well as wealthy financially. Our culture sees this accumulation of energy as the most desired.

One can also take in large amounts  of energy and hold it tightly for analysis, or because its bad or because it’s a secret, or because it’s mine alone. I realize on writing this that indigenous people tend to live without owning everything around them. We consider them poor.

As women we tend to own and hold onto emotions. It is our wealth. But I spent years thinking I was  letting go of emotions I’d stored up in my life,while I re-experienced them over and over. I made my living helping others do the same.  I had not until today seen this accumulation of emotions as  a type of ownweship/greed. (Or wealth)  I know women who feel they must own every emotion, thought and belief that surfaces in their relationships, especially the ones judged bad. Weeks can go by as these emotions are analyzed, sometimes even years! Is this  another way of counting our “money”, just not the current wealth indicator? Most of us doing this emotional work have seen it as saving our world. We believe we are emotionally cleaning up after those who don’t do it for themselves. But perhaps their wealth indicator comes from hoarding another kind of energy.

Our environment is a reflection of our stuff, stuff (energy) we don’t want, that gets dumped into huge gaping holes in our mother Earth.  Who is going to own the energy of this garbage? It could be a type of wealth to someone.

Our society is out of balance (my judgment). Some people are capable of pulling in and holding onto lots of energy and become extremly wealthy, owning numerous homes,businesses, cars, etc while many others are not only homeless, they may own very little. But greed/owership is acceptable in our culture. The monetarily wealthy now own most of what we call wealth in our country. And yet many homeless people are more likely to share what little they have.

What happens when the wealthy continue to suck in and hold more and more energy? What would happen if our view of wealth shifted? What if holding onto energy became too difficult and  we began to give more energy rather than hold onto it?

I don’t have an answer, maybe you do and can help me understand.

We Are Water (3)

Today I am Ocean. Very large, my energy is all within, nuturing many, many different life forms. I can feel large beings moving  inside me and hear their calls to each other, letting me know they are okay.

My movement is not initiated by me, rather I am pulled by the moon and just as I begin to relax I am pulled back to where I was, every day I am lulled by this rhythm. Sometimes wind calls to  me and we dance together gently, sometimes we play aggressively.

I am also aware of many, many rivers coming to visit and then they leave me as tiny drops in the air. I don’t always get to say goodbye and wish them well on their new journey. Sometimes they return to me as raindrops and we party and dance.

I also feel disturbing noises at my surface, large entities that feel like they care not for me at all. Sometimes they enter me and I feel raped by their aggression, their lack of empathy for me and their sounds that scatter my own life forms. They leave what my life forms can not consume.

I am water, I live in you. (To be continued)

 

We Are Water (2)

We are water, our bodies, like that of our home, Earth is about 70% water. Water has many personalities, each serving a purpose, just as we do. It is intriguing to look at how alike we are.

I would say I’ve been a river most of my life. Always moving, doing, creating, but also serving others as a mother, wife, business owner, healer and teacher. Sometimes as River, I felt flooded and moved fast and furious, sometimes I became “droughted” and felt as if there wasn’t enough of me to go around, to do the nourishing I signed up for. I moved a lot as a child, maintained few friends, went to many different schools, had little connection to relatives except for siblings, and I am the eldest. As River, my course has always been toward Oneness, the Ocean.

As I have been trying to understand myself as water I’ve looked at others and realize I sometimes drool at the idea of being a lake instead of a river. They are more stationary, more community-minded. Their movements more gentle. My daughters had/have a more stationary life. They lived in the same house in their growing up years, went to school with the same kids, played with the same neighborhood friends, lived safely by the same neighbors, all aging together in a small town. Everybody knows who you are. Lake energy nourishes, but differently than River. To be continued.

http://www.isischarest.com

We Are Water

We are at least 70 percent water. This is a fact. But until we experience self as water we have no real concept of what that means or how our experience of water affects us emotionally or our relationships with others.

Water can be a river, on a journey to the ocean, flowing night and day. A fast flowing river has little time to notice or nurture what comes to them and feels much different than a large slow moving river. When we are this fast moving river we are all about experience with no time to see or feel how our experience is affecting us. Very busy.

And then there are lakes. Our families, jobs, churches can be lakes or ponds. Lakes and ponds become connected to their surroundings, the terrain which holds the life within them, and all life that comes to them to be nurtured. There is little movement in a lake or pond. In small lake and pond energy everyone knows whats going on, the names of people, what they do, who they are related to, married to.  There is a larger sense of involvement.  Lakes and ponds are pulled or rocked by the moon. But they stay in one place.

However, a lake or ponds water can become stagnant, polluted or be totally used up by plant life. A person identifying as a small lake or pond can feel depressed, stuck. To step out of this feeling one must choose another course, of water. Become a river, a bigger lake,  a cloud, or as big as the ocean.

We can be huge, like the ocean, being pulled by the moon 2x a day for our movement. The hugeness does not foster a sense of personal connection, but does foster unity as we are pulled with the tide. Cities are like the ocean. Lots of people but not a lot of connection. But think of the amount of sloshing water in all those people as we are rocked by tides each day!

Change can occur in any water thru evaporation as water is lifted into the air for another kind of experience.We can become little clouds floating in the air, connecting with more moisture  and growing  into bigger clouds waiting for the opportunity to drop as rain and begin a new experience.

http://www.isischarest.com

Shifting Frequencies

I have been aware for some time  of  expressing creatively in numerous ways. My favorite expressions are painting, writing, teaching, sewing, and cooking. They are all creative for me and I know I am not in the same frequency as I express in these different creative endeavors.  I am not aware of what these frequencies actually are if I had the creative talent (or interest) to put them into sound so I could listen to the sound that would shift me.

My challenge, (and perhaps you, reading this, have experiences you could share)  is moving from one frequency to another with intention.  If I am in the painter frequency I am not a good writer. If I’m in the writer frequency I’m not very artistic as a painter. My cook is obviously close to the painter because she likes a lot of color in our food. I have started numerous paintings that I quickly grew bored with before I realized I wasn’t in the painter frequency.

I thought it should be easy to call up the frequency I want but of course that is my mind talking. The teacher in me is quite interested in how to do this, but apparently needs a new frequency called “student.”  I have read that what talents we may have but don’t use, we lose. But do they actually waste away or do we have to shift into the energy where they are stored?

I did psychic past life readings and channeled much of my novels. I can not just do these without shifting my energy. I wish I knew how to develop an App for my phone that could copy my frequency and store the sound wave so I could call them up when needed! Maybe YOU know how to do this???

Check out Awakening Earth Chronicles, the characters dance in  numerous frequencies. http://www.isischarest.com

 

 

 

Up-Rooted

The difference between thinking about a word or feeling a word can be compared to wading into a lukewarm lake verses diving into warm, aqua blue water surrounded by colorful tropical fish or another view might be walking on a sidewalk with cars rushing by verses walking on a soft green moss path surrounded by towering pine trees and blooming Rhodys.  We can think words, we can feel words and its best if we can do both.

I’ve heard the words rooted and up-rooted all my life. I did spend 5 years of my childhood on a farm. My mother was raised on a farm as well. I was uprooted  many times in my childhood and have done it to myself numerous times in adulthood. But this year I became a #TreeSister and connected with the deep feeling of being rooted in a forest of trees. Trees of many species with deep roots feeding and communicating at this rooted level. Nurturing and giving to each without concern for race or creed, or if the other had done enough to deserve anything.

Feelings washed over me of how up-rooted the people of our country are, of how people  world wide have been up-rooted to start over because of drought, or war or famine or tsunamis or hurricanes. The connection to the land one loved severed as well as one’s family roots. This up-rooting leads us into individuality. But the price of individuality and no roots is a fear of being alone, our up-rootedness looming within, mostly unspoken.

In a meditation I saw and felt that we and our planet have been going through a separation pattern for a long time for this experience of individuality.  We are often up- rooted to experience something new. Perhaps go off to school or off to war, get married, move to a new place, country or a new job. We up-rooted all the natives that live on this land,  who were very deeply rooted in their culture, connection to Earth Mother and making sites sacred.

This up-rooting leaves a hole in the land, in the family, in relationships which  fills in  with something new and we(I) find out, we can not go back. Our roots will not fit in that old hole if we could even find it. We have been learning to live without roots and the people we were rooted to have learned to live without us.

But in this seeking for individualism we are also changing Mother Earth.   We cut down huge forests  and if trees are replanted it is often only one species, for fast growth and money value, creating a sense of racism within the tree species. Huge fields of one crop, massive buildings full of  “perfect” chickens,  pigs and cows genetically enhanced to grow fast for money return mot caring about the lives of these animals.  Even our monetary system has been reduced to one global system.

But the fear factor created by individualism, that feeling of being alone, grows and the call for change is in the air. Many of us hear, feel and see the need for change.  The need to unite in a new way and create roots consciously, more in service to/with Mother Earth is rising up.  Now i can see that I wrote Awakening Earth Chronicles and especially Fear of Uniting so I could learn this! http://www.isischarest.com

If you are called to heal your up-rooting check out http://www.billiontrees.me

 

 

 

Programming Love

It feels as if we, as humans, are at a cross road. The road has dead ended and we can choose to go left or right. We can’t see very far either way as we sit trying to decide which way to turn.

One way leads into the past and the other the future. The past is where we have created the patterns of our life that pop up when ever making a decision. We often think we are moving forward and yet only faces or the countryside changes.  Our thinking, responding and reacting has us well programed.

In order to move towards the future we must update our programing. (just like we have to update our computers) The update I saw (in a dream) is choosing to retire (delete) our program called: Fear, who will survive and thrive, that  leads us toward fight or flight and competition. There are so many of us now that moving in this direction will be more dangerous than ever before.

The new program is called: Love, unity, equality and community, what I do and give to others is returned to me. The fullness of what we give and receive will change our relationship with all Life forms.

To delete the old program:  visualize a button connected to your belly button that says: Push here to delete Fear program, Push  that button with your pointer finger of right hand and breathe deeply until  you can not hold any more breath. Exhale all breath in one big  HA, release your hold on the button  and take 12 slow inhales and exhales. A flashing light will say : Are you sure you want to delete this program? YES  NO  Push button YES.  If you feel fearful of deleting you can redo this deleting process until you can push YES button.

To install new Love program: Visualize a large green button in center of your chest at heart level. A  flashing green sign appears and says:  to install LOVE  program. place  fingers from both hands on large green button (fingers pointing inward). Inhale deeply thru nose, exhale slowly thru mouth 12 times. A flashing message will appear saying : Love program installed.  (if you feel dubious you may reinstall until you feel the shift.) )

It works, Please share!

Where Do You Sit?

I am a futurist. I’ve dedicated the last 36 years of my life to healing old beliefs and patterns that kept resurfacing and in that process I’ve moved from dwelling on and in the past to being in the moment and looking forward. I’ve seen that if  I don’t change those patterns, I recreate the same type of experiences over and over. The people may have different faces but the dance isn’t new.

Writing Awakening Earth Chronicles opened my mind to a level of politics I hadn’t experienced before. (Also a new batch of patterns not seen before).  For me, as a writer, the story unfolds before me as if I were living it and I  write it down to share. I often dream parts of the story.

Recently a very powerful dream unfolded for me in which I saw the dramatic importance of changing our national anthem.  I saw that our anthem didn’t include Native Americans or blacks or browns or yellow Americans. That what we call our anthem is “very white.”  I saw that our anthem is mostly about the glory of war, a particular war and our budget certainly verifies that we could spend more on our people. There was a lot more to the dream and  I awoke feeling excited to move on it.

I wasn’t prepared,  upon sharing it, for the intense push back or the lack of interest in bringing up something that has already been glorified, our flag and anthem but not people or our beautiful land. I heard that enough is going on, why bring up the anthem?  That the past is very important and we should leave it alone just like we shouldn’t tear down confederate statues. The past is important and we shouldn’t forget it. But is the past remembered as it was or whitewashed? The flag, the anthem and war machines are all created by humans. Is that more important than LIFE?

Moving forward often feels huge and  overwhelming. Is there a place to start? What needs to change in order to move forward? In our country our Constitution is a gem, it offers us rights and freedoms not available in many other countries. But many of those rights are being questioned for different religions, colors of skin. Our anthem does not speak to all of our citizens. How can we expect unity or positive change when the song we are supposed to cross our heart and sing with total dedication continuously imprints the glory of war and dying and leaves out the glory of life?

In my mind what is glorified does not deserve this glory. What do you think and feel? please feel free to comment. I need to know what more people think in order to move forward on this. Thank you.