My quiet inner voice told me today to write about my experiences of silence. I wondered if others had already done so and went to Google. Of course there were many sharings but in reading them they did not speak of what I wanted to share. After speaking to a friend about it today, she expressed what she “sees” about silence. This sharing is what I have “felt”.
1. The first silence that comes to mind is the silence of no response. I can feel the mind of this person I await a response from …gone, running away from me. Perhaps I said some things that reminded them of their own journey.But this person in their silence, is no longer here with me.
2. And then there is the silence that feels like a huge container, that everything I say is lovingly allowed to flow in. I feel held in this silence even tho there is no physical touch. I feel peace,. A voice saying, “I want to hear everything you have to say”.I feel a deep connection between us and know my thoughts and feelings are meaningful to this person and I feel this permission to release something in me … the tracking of time.
3. And there is the silence of hostility where there is a wall instead of a container. What I say to this person flies back to me in an energetic flash. The wall allows no penetration. After a few times of trying to speak I feel beat up by my own words and unwanted energy. I thought my words were kind … but they were not wanted.
4. There was only silence between us for a moment but now words flow out very quickly forcing me into silence. I try to become a container, a good listener, of all that’s been stored up in this person. Perhaps no one has listened before.Their words are hurried, running together and there is no response to even a short question that I ask. I begin to feel unimportant. My silence is not appreciated. Instead I feel my mouth padlocked.I feel controlled, almost thinking of this feeling as another type of rape. Why can’t I speak?
5.I hunger for mutual silences, true listening, real connection with others where we take turns speaking and being a container, allowing energy to flow back and forth into our mutual deep containers, exchanging energy on a level that can only happen from genuine interest and caring.
I am curious as to how you experience different silences. Please share.
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