Today I can’t contain this information I hold or the words that are begging to be shouted out for all to hear.
We must open .. to loving Darkness .. as much as Light ..or we will not be able to move out of patriarchy. We have been living in a only Light is sacred time until Light/Fire is becoming out of balance and destructive.
If our planet didn’t rotate into Darkness it would have burned up long ago.
If we didn’t have darkness we would Do, Do, Do until we burned up or burned out. This is when depression moves in.
In order to accept wholeness we must let go of Needing … Desiring .. good and polarities and the biggest polarity is Light versus Dark.
Our whole solar system lives in dark energy .. which is actually magnetic potential. Potential resides in Darkness and is the energy needed for creation … for creating and it is FREE.
However, we have been told for thousands of years that darkness is bad .. that everything bad is “dark” then only those who understand this LIE can prosper.
I was recently awakened by Gaia speaking to me! I don’t recall that ever happening to me before. I was told that humans are separating into the different elements. Fire people, Water people, Soil people and Air people.
We will not be able to unite globally or even nationally until we own these attributes within ourselves and become the 5th element which is when all 4 elements are united within consciously.
Many of us have united several elements within but not all. The next leaders will be owning, living and expressing all 4 elements.
In our own creative process nothing manifests unless all 4 elements are present.
Soil is matter, Water helps Soil stick together and hold a form, Air expands and makes this Water/Soil form lighter and Fire is the energy that moves the creation.
As people; Fire people are Doers, need to be busy. Water people are feelers, connected to Being, Air people are thinkers, Soil people are connected to Nature. Each type of person seeks different types of creativity and employment according to their strongest interest. love and dedication.
I am getting that our ability to create will be changing. Love and gratitude for the elements must be present rather than love for money. This will change us (and confuse) government’s and the wealth of the very wealthy. Intuition and instinct will be needed to decipher the lies that will dominate media.
In other words we are entering a new decade with different invisible rules and lessons to be learned.
I’d like to share my major ahh ha this week. It starts with the huge realization this morning that Nature and my inner and outer Darkness feel the same to me. They are both nurturing, slowed down, a feeling energy that allows me to feel safe, protected, loved.
However, I have for 40 years worked on clearing all the negative emotions from experiences that I experienced in Darkness. mostly sexual. that had made Darkness a scary place.
When I had finally cleared most of those emotions I had a powerful and unforgettable visit to the huge Darkness of the universe and felt it’s loving creative presence.
I began to love my personal space of Darkness. I can be there for hours, my eyes closed, without responding to any technology. It’s very peaceful and contemplative. The same feeling I have when I step into a tree scape, or be by a river, or lake at night or during the day.
The Light of day is pure too but the Light that humans have created and cocreated holds many painful beliefs and hurtful experiences that have to be healed before we can truly embrace a purer Light.
We want to embrace Light coming from outside our planetary home or someone who feels like they truly radiate light. But that person has healed the emotional experiences and beliefs that polluted their energy field.
The pollution we are experiencing on our planet now is our creation and it is held in our emotional bodies and it polluted our Light essence.
The anger, the fires, the beliefs, the blame, guilt, the superiority over each other, cruelty, competition. All the energy of these emotions and beliefs fill and contaminate and pollute our individual Light essence.
There are many people healing these aspects in themselves. I had not seen this purity of Light and Darkness this way before. I still see a lot of “badness” in my/our Light which means I still have more to heal but I now have a window of clarity that I can and will aspire to.
I had a discussion today with a friend about reaction and how it victimizes us. Of course we both had a few experiences where we felt victimized to share and examine.
We agreed that we have a choice in each moment to respond or react to any situation but to respond we must be totally present.
When we first experience something, we have no experience to guide us. We both agreed that we often hide within when this happens and become submissive. My observer can see me afraid to act. By hiding within I am cut off from parts of Self that can protect this body. This can bring up fear. I may project my fear outward, perhaps hoping “the other” will show compassion. I am unable to act when I “hide” within.
The second type of reaction is where I use anger to come forward energetically and scare “the other” into hiding. (reaction). This can happen when I feel the need to control a situation.
Both of these reactions come from separation within myself caused by judgment, fear and competition.
When I am fully present and focusing more on gratitude and trust of myself and “the other” I don’t have to Be perfect. My words and actions then feel appropriate. I feel centered, not hiding within and not pushing outward, therefore I have access to all of Self. There is no competition. Response allows me to feel whole, relaxed, sometimes elated, trusted, part of a conversation that flows like a gentle river.
Reaction happens when I feel separated and create a wall around Self. It feels like two wells that can’t quite grasp the others depth, clarity or pollution. When there is no trust of Self or the “other” I will likely fall into the old pattern of reacting.
The polarity we are living in is very visible to me but perhaps not to all and is obviously avoided by news media. The polarity is between Water and Fire. Fire creates movement for all Life forms but is usually perceived as light or is invisible.
Our world has taken Fire into physical form as constant destruction. War and weaponry are fire energy and are constantly used as our way to get control of fossil fuels. Fossil fuels are then turned into more physical fire (which creates money for those in control of Fire at this time.)
Fire is a natural Element instrumental in the creation of Life. (Along with Soil, Air and Water.) Fire is of Nature and in it’s natural form not meant to be controlled. In it’s physical form, Fire as weaponry is controlled. Fire in it’s natural physical form is not very controllable and as out of control energy becomes hungry and is now moving into forests creating even more of a disfunction in our climate and is now affecting water in it’s frozen form.(Melting ice)
What hit me today is how our government is using I.C.E. to scream of it’s terror of the rising tides of people and the need for a huge wall, a wall to keep out the refugees fleeing countries where “our out of balance Fire energy” melted their economy. (Income, Country and Economy: ICE)
Like rising waters the people flee but as actual ice melts because of this out of balance destructive Fire energy, the focus is all on “those risingrpeople” when we could be building actual sea walls that will be needed very soon to protect all the coastal cities.
This is when Intuition is talking but those with power to help with actual change are not listening. Instead they are reacting, pretending that out of balance Fire is not there. Pretending they have nothing to do with ice melting.
The shift must be made away from Fire to Water, the sacredness of Water for all Life’s survival. If we begin to focus on water we will see what needs to be done for the well being of all Life forms instead of unconsciously creating more destruction.
Channeling a story needs me to be at least 2 people, maybe 3! One of me sits quietly in a high enough frequency to see and feel a beam of whitish, golden light the width of my shoulders, come into my body and crown chakra. There were no words, but there were lots of pictures, people and was like watching a movie with no sound. I observed a story unfolding. The channelling of Awakening Earth Chronicles took 4 intense years.
The 2nd part of me had to translate this frequency, all these pictures that appeared, into words, words that explained the story that I was watching inwardly with my third eye.
Then another part of me would frequently dream at night about different episodes of the story. The dreams connected me to the feelings in the story. I had no logical sense of where the story was going. I had to trust this process of an unfolding story.
It’s been 3 years since I published Fear of Uniting, the last book in the Chronicles and in these last years I have reread all 3 books about 5 times. Each time I reread them I feel I am integrating the wisdom I was channelling that still needs to be integrated into more parts of me, into my conscious Self. In other words my characters in AWAKENING EARTH CHRONICLES are more conscious than me and give me direction! I have to reread my novels to continuec to integrate the wisdom into the logical part of me that wasn’t invited into the channelling, writing experience!
I needed to write this today to understand my own process!!
Extinction, a word that is causing my stomach to hurt. My mind wants to delete the word as if that might change this course of events. But what I saw in a meditation is that most humans have been trained to control everything in our lives. That means that “wild” is bad, might hurt us, must be controlled.
I think that means it’s time to learn how to be “wild”. What does it mean to be “wild”? I remember as a child every time I got too dirty or did something my parents didn’t approve of, I was wild.
As a female teenager, wild was dangerous. If guys thought you were wild, that meant you were free with your sexuality. Dress codes controlled most wildness. Girls and women have been more controlled than boys and men,they got, “oh boys will be boys.” A woman exposing her breast to feed her imfant in public is still considered too wild,for most women in 2019!
Way too many of us have bought into wild is dangerous or bad. Now we have social media to control our actions and regular media to make sure whatever is done has a file and can be found, just in case we need to be controlled. Of course wildness is allowed in the entertainment world but only as a product, not as something allowed off stage.
What if we as humans have reached a time in which we must each own our wild self, which means letting go of those tight reins controlling our Self or extinction will include humans as well?
What if each day we need to ask, what can I do today to express my wild self? What action will I allow others to see?
My stomach reacts,a feeling arises of my inner little girl whispering, “how wild will you let me be?”
Several years ago I wrote a poem called Then. It is here in my writings under Invisible realms. My experience at the time showed me how I had “bloomed”many times in this life time but the blooms fade away and it is me (like a plant) that continues on. It was in writing this poem that I experienced the power of Darkness and how it embraced me. As I reread the poem I realized I had seen this more as a vision, an aspect of inner seeing.
In the last few weeks I have been dealing with not Belonging. I didn’t feel like I fit in any where, not in my family, not in groups. I felt sad and rejected for a few days.
I wrote down what I was ready to let go of symbolically, on a leaf and dropped it into a stream as a commitment to let go of my fear of not Belonging.
Then I asked Gaia, “What action or response would best serve Wholeness?
The answer I received was; “Generosity of Spirit. Spirit meaning That which Embraces and leads the way.”
In the next moment I felt my whole body being Embraced, touched in a way not possible with another human. Every part of my skin felt touched.
This I was told is true Belonging. It is a Belonging to Darkness and Light, a Belonging to Gaia, A Belonging to my Life. It is a new definition that allows me to Be.
The experience this time was not visual or from inner seeing. It was felt, physically, emotionally,in a profound new way. I was told to ask any questions after the Embrace and I would hear and feel the answer from that larger consciousness.
I can truthfully say I want a lot more of this feeling!
In the process of writing #AwakeningEarthChronicles I became aware, in a very deep way, that Earth is a living Presence and all LIFE is part of this Presence. I’m over 70 and yet in all my years I had not heard it spoken this way. about this huge feeling of ONENESS.
I don’t know why we’ve been trained or brainwashed into believing “it’s” a place we live but it has nothing to do with the superiority of humans. Sadly this belief has given permission to violate Earth Presence. Humans are the only Life Form that creatively destroys Earth Essence
“It” can be drilled, mined, fracked, and filled with our garbage. Other species (Life Forms) are fine as long as they don’t intrude on any humans territory. They can be killed, poisoned, caged, starved to get the “almighty dollar.
Trees clean our air we breathe and also redistribute moisture. But this
Life Essence doesn’t contribute to the ‘almighty dollar for anyone, so forests are cut down to create “a crop for profit”
Mining, drilling and fracking interfere with the Living Presence of Earth. When that Living Presence is violated it affects ALL LIFE ESSENCE. Money can not replace Life. Mining violste Soil. There is violation of Soil and Water with fracking. This violation of Earth Essence comes back to US as many kinds of sickness and what we call disasters. What is done to the Air WE breathe affects EARTH PRESENCE which is ALL LIFE.
What we do unto Earth We do unto ALL LIFE. The indigenous cultures know this. I wonder when the wake-up call will come for everyone else?
Our world is changing. We can no .longer trust those we have given our authority to, or better said, projected our own power of authority onto. We could say this is wrong and bad or we can look at the door that is opening. The door that says: learn to ask, trust and act from the voice that speaks from (y)our heart.
Every time we ask of this consciousness there is an answer. It isn’t always what I/we want to hear or are ready to physically act upon but the answer is there to serve my/our needs.
I will say that my own challenge with asking, listening and acting is dealing with my own shame when I don’t act upon this wisdim and physically carry through. And yet this voice never judges me. (But the part that is afraid to act does) It is always available for my questions. The most difficult task (for me) is figuring out how to ask the question that I want an answer to. But it is truly a worthwhile pursuit.
My big question I’m afraid to ask today is: why, with all the lies heard from our own president is Congress unwilling to stand for the Constitution of this country?
The answer I hear is: their answers do not come from their inner voice but from the voice of the moneys which holds them hostage.
Next question: Are we all hostages to money?
Answer: Most are. Freedom is delivered when one asks, listens And acts. Without this action one remains a hostage, waiting for an outer savior.
My quiet inner voice told me today to write about my experiences of silence. I wondered if others had already done so and went to Google. Of course there were many sharings but in reading them they did not speak of what I wanted to share. After speaking to a friend about it today, she expressed what she “sees” about silence. This sharing is what I have “felt”.
1. The first silence that comes to mind is the silence of no response. I can feel the mind of this person I await a response from …gone, running away from me. Perhaps I said some things that reminded them of their own journey.But this person in their silence, is no longer here with me.
2. And then there is the silence that feels like a huge container, that everything I say is lovingly allowed to flow in. I feel held in this silence even tho there is no physical touch. I feel peace,. A voice saying, “I want to hear everything you have to say”.I feel a deep connection between us and know my thoughts and feelings are meaningful to this person and I feel this permission to release something in me … the tracking of time.
3. And there is the silence of hostility where there is a wall instead of a container. What I say to this person flies back to me in an energetic flash. The wall allows no penetration. After a few times of trying to speak I feel beat up by my own words and unwanted energy. I thought my words were kind … but they were not wanted.
4. There was only silence between us for a moment but now words flow out very quickly forcing me into silence. I try to become a container, a good listener, of all that’s been stored up in this person. Perhaps no one has listened before.Their words are hurried, running together and there is no response to even a short question that I ask. I begin to feel unimportant. My silence is not appreciated. Instead I feel my mouth padlocked.I feel controlled, almost thinking of this feeling as another type of rape. Why can’t I speak?
5.I hunger for mutual silences, true listening, real connection with others where we take turns speaking and being a container, allowing energy to flow back and forth into our mutual deep containers, exchanging energy on a level that can only happen from genuine interest and caring.
I am curious as to how you experience different silences. Please share.
Check out my novels, AWAKENING EARTH CHRONICLES at
Do “I” want to create or is something stirring and calling within me, hungering for the opportunity to become visible?
What is it that pulls and tugs and begs for attention? A connection I aspire to? A pearl of wisdom hidden deeply within that keeps repeating, “You have something special to share.”
Once acknowledged, the tug becomes stronger. It wakes me in the night, “Did you forget me? You promised “we” would spend time together. I’ve been waiting. We have something special to share.”
Sometimes I hear myself say, “But, I’m not ready, I don’t know how to write (or paint or) I’d make a mess of it. People would laugh at me. It’s not a good time, I should bla ..bla.. bla. . I’m really tired. I’ll do it tomorrow.”
And then that special voice, the one I have been avoiding that I know is hungering for creation and connection says, “I love you, we can do this together. You do not have to do it alone. You are never alone when you listen.”
The information that’s been coming in today, as I send energy out, is about sharing verses owning energy. Nature freely disperses energy, constantly sharing, but as humans we play differently and want to own energy. I hadn’t seen it this way before today. We are taught that to be winners we should own our home, own a great view, our car, our children, our clothes, our experiences, our judgments our bank account, our phone. However, what we call ours, or what we own is boxed in, (banked), energetically held in our body and what I call the aura around us. What we are capable of holding onto constitutes a level of greed I had not recognized before. A greed for energy.
To continuously share energy is to allow energy to move thru us verses wanting it all for self because I deserve it all. These people feel big energetically as well as wealthy financially. Our culture sees this accumulation of energy as the most desired.
One can also take in large amounts of energy and hold it tightly for analysis, or because its bad or because it’s a secret, or because it’s mine alone. I realize on writing this that indigenous people tend to live without owning everything around them. We consider them poor.
As women we tend to own and hold onto emotions. It is our wealth. But I spent years thinking I was letting go of emotions I’d stored up in my life,while I re-experienced them over and over. I made my living helping others do the same. I had not until today seen this accumulation of emotions as a type of ownweship/greed. (Or wealth) I know women who feel they must own every emotion, thought and belief that surfaces in their relationships, especially the ones judged bad. Weeks can go by as these emotions are analyzed, sometimes even years! Is this another way of counting our “money”, just not the current wealth indicator? Most of us doing this emotional work have seen it as saving our world. We believe we are emotionally cleaning up after those who don’t do it for themselves. But perhaps their wealth indicator comes from hoarding another kind of energy.
Our environment is a reflection of our stuff, stuff (energy) we don’t want, that gets dumped into huge gaping holes in our mother Earth. Who is going to own the energy of this garbage? It could be a type of wealth to someone.
Our society is out of balance (my judgment). Some people are capable of pulling in and holding onto lots of energy and become extremly wealthy, owning numerous homes,businesses, cars, etc while many others are not only homeless, they may own very little. But greed/owership is acceptable in our culture. The monetarily wealthy now own most of what we call wealth in our country. And yet many homeless people are more likely to share what little they have.
What happens when the wealthy continue to suck in and hold more and more energy? What would happen if our view of wealth shifted? What if holding onto energy became too difficult and we began to give more energy rather than hold onto it?
I don’t have an answer, maybe you do and can help me understand.