I had a discussion today with a friend about reaction and how it victimizes us. Of course we both had a few experiences where we felt victimized to share and examine.
We agreed that we have a choice in each moment to respond or react to any situation but to respond we must be totally present.
When we first experience something, we have no experience to guide us. We both agreed that we often hide within when this happens and become submissive. My observer can see me afraid to act. By hiding within I am cut off from parts of Self that can protect this body. This can bring up fear. I may project my fear outward, perhaps hoping “the other” will show compassion. I am unable to act when I “hide” within.
The second type of reaction is where I use anger to come forward energetically and scare “the other” into hiding. (reaction). This can happen when I feel the need to control a situation.
Both of these reactions come from separation within myself caused by judgment, fear and competition.
When I am fully present and focusing more on gratitude and trust of myself and “the other” I don’t have to Be perfect. My words and actions then feel appropriate. I feel centered, not hiding within and not pushing outward, therefore I have access to all of Self. There is no competition. Response allows me to feel whole, relaxed, sometimes elated, trusted, part of a conversation that flows like a gentle river.
Reaction happens when I feel separated and create a wall around Self. It feels like two wells that can’t quite grasp the others depth, clarity or pollution. When there is no trust of Self or the “other” I will likely fall into the old pattern of reacting.